Dear lover,  

Recently I'm ill,  and so is my mother.  We're both ill, we both desire to see you  come to China. we both love and need you so much, so much!   Because you can't realize how hard for a poor single woman it is to exist in the society where marriage is a must.  And if  the daughter can't be married, other people even look down on and bully her parents.I have told you that the brutal neighbore cut our tree because I'm such an old virgin.

And the landlord charged me the extra house rent on purpose, threateningly claiming  that they will sell the only  remaining single apartment on rent, even if  I can still continue to rent this apartment,  Once there's the new buyer, I must remove it without reserve. Oh, how to describe the awkward situation?    My family just have  such an amount of money. Oh, Such an old small house in  linzhou city (it's a  backward county  town of China) unexpectedly costs us 110,000 Chinese yuan, about 20 thousand USD.Please notice it's 20,000 USD--110,000 Chinese yuan. You see, even for you, In order to save the airticket to China from USA , you have prepared for the whole 5 years, no mention to my family, what a long time for us to save so much money--110,000 RMB!  Oh, my god,on the thought of it,  I feel my heart takes to bleeding.It's just ME who ran out of all saving of my parents.)

Especially,  just now I got a  truth that I was unexpectedly  cheated and charged extra rents   by that hateful and greedy landlord all these years by chance,  and there're also a few other  single apartments to be let.  I felt  angry to death and even heart-broken.  But I still  have no other choice now.  I have no ability to  afford to buy the big house, What's more, I  have not husband and children,  no need to live in such a big house.  at the same time in my living town, there's not any other single apartment to be sold or let, although there're  a few new single houses on construction now, no way to live,yet.   You must realize the special Chinese house policy where  there's no room  for single people to exist!

So all situations urged me and my parents to make up our mind to buy such an old single house in such a high price. Oh, my god,  110,000 Chinese yuan must be paid  off one- time!     I have never seen so much money to put together--the whole 11bundles of cashes!  We drew all our funds out  in the different banks.   Now my family and I are just in the abject poverty.   If only I could have a husband!  Thus we can buy a big and comfortable new house together! (I have a plan to ask for the lawyer whether the contract is available or I can cancel this trade later, Considering I bought it under the condition of being deceived.   but now I still have no other house to rent, no other choice but to keep on suffering.)

And in the working place, I am also excluded or recisely speaking,  I am being ostracised, I was allocated to the worst office room without no window full of 甲醛 methanal. At the beginning, I didn't know the existence of 甲醛methanal, because it's of a kind of gas without  smell and color just like air. but I feel uncomfortable to stay in it gradually, coughing,and face swelling hot and  red,head dizzy. later, I begin to learn that it's just the poisoning symptom of 甲醛 from a magazine of Amway accidently.  No other coworkers wanted to go to that room without window, just  leaving me to stay in that dark office room alone. ( I reported the situation about 甲醛 to our leader/boss, he just paid no attention to my request. I know that he was ignorant deliberately. )

As a result, my poor health finally broke out. In fact, I have been dizzy, weak  and languid for the last 3 months.  Yesterday I  went to see the doctor, the doctor told me that my liver and spleen even kidney were all not in good state, and my blood lacking of nutriation seriously.  I must be away from 甲醛methanal.

Just to think what kind of poor situation I'm living now!  Please help and save me! Yeah,please like a knight on a horse  coming to scoop me up and take me away and fly... I really need to get rid of my present situation. If without the hope of your coming  this September, I really can't suffer any more! and I also really can't endure to keep on waiting and waiting... I feel regretted to buy this old singel apartment,  If I have 110,000 RMB, I'd rather to take them to live in USA with you. and the reason why we should visit my relative of being an official in China? It's because we should ask for his help to keep my present life-long job, thus even if I'm not in china, I can still get the salary.)

I'm only afraid that you can't like me in reality.  And I dreamed a  bad dream.  In dream,I met you in reality, and I even talked with you in my poor oral  English very slowly but very clearly.  Pitifully,  it seems that you couldn't understand what i said. and you also didn't like me, you even refused to look at me. Because there're a lot of young and beautiful chinese girls around you. you just despised  me. In dream, my heart fell to peices!  as if I' was abandoned by my exboyfriend again. I'm also a person full of love scars as you! don't abandon me!

So now I must ask for leave for a good rest to recover the health. God knows how I cherish my job, though which is a far cry from my favorate and ideal profession. I'm unexpectedly foolish and miserable  to such an extent that I'd rather  sacrifice my health for keeping my work position  to support myself!  Otherwise, It's absolutely impossible for me  to keep single to wait for my Mr. right's arrival. Maybe in order to make a living, I had to marry to certain a person like my mother. In my memory, she is always full of unhappiness and suffering,  feeling wronged.  She hates to be a woman in China, having few chance and choice to give full play to her talent all along. she taught me from a child to dream to leave China, going  abroad--USA. I have the obligation and mission to fulfill our common dream! I also made a vow then and there  that I would never lower myself to marry only  for survival, instead of true love!    However, the price is too big, too big... now I've  unexpectedly been 37 years old... My dream still can't be realized! 

I'm looking forward to meeting you in Beijing capital airport this September!

P.S.I  have contacted the hotel manager Tan of Regal Riverside hotel of China. He told me that it's ture that the price via online will be cheaper than in reality. For example, the price of our room is 318RMB, but if you book it in reality, the price will be double--630 RMB (about 100 USD). So it's really so economic for us to book hotel  online directly. Thanks to the great intenet! Even if you're in USA, you can still book the Chinese hotel via smoothly!. oh, My god, just to imagine the hotel room--630 Chinese yuan one night!   It'll be the most expensive hotel I would have been!!!